Friendly Barbarians Put Pay to Pre-season Pines

Match: Friendly v Cardiff Bay Barbarians

Date: Thursday 21^st April 2011

Venue: Fitzalan School

Conditions: In a word . . . random! Nice weather meets variable cuts of ‘honey I shrunk the kids’ grass leading to a post-modern boundary (open to interpretation) while the incidental music was provided courtesy of the Cardiff Blues.

MATCH REPORT

Cricket in April? What’s that about?

(Don’t say IPL!)

Answer: It’s the pre-season hard yards, turning rusty Pines into sharp-shooting Pines; moulding and shaping a mob of eleven ordinary men into a cutting-edge unit, fit and ready to mount an attack on Willow League cricket once more.

Backed by the largest squad that even Roman Abramovich could dream of, with the media and social-networking presence to rival Stephen Fry, and sporting the trendiest and most comprehensive set of cricketing attire, who would bet against the Rhiwbina Pines achieving great things in 2011? Although – John Davies take note – as Alan Hansen once said, “You can’t win anything with kits” . . . or something like that.

The first step on this road to success was enjoyed by the eleven representing the most illustrious of sporting clubs, and involved, firstly, trying to locate the ground. Fitzalan School was very much a new venue for the Pines. Mystic tried to be clever and headed for a little-known back entrance. Captaincy Fail. Still, we all made it in the end, and by the time the game finished, we were just loosening up nicely! Some more boring statisticians would even suggest a correlation between the accuracy of one’s bowling, and the ability to find the ground on which you are playing. Look out for a specially-commissioned study of this in the 2011 statistical almanac.

The toss was lost, the Babas batted, and we were in for an 18-over-each shootout with very friendly allowances for wides and such like. Jay Tuffnell opened the bowling from the ASDA end, coming down the hill and making good use of his natural ball, tempting the right-handers to dabble. Some great bowling with no reward in the wicket column (thanks to a very pre-season-like effort of a catch from Mystic at mid-off early on). Jay finshed with 0 for 9 of his 3.

At the other end, Simon Collick (0 for 31) was hurriedly rushed into some bowling action due to the delay of debutant Andy Damant. Simon coped well, despite the leading Baba batsmen going after him. The batsmen concerned, Nimesh, eventually retired in a very friendly manner after reaching his 50, not before reviving the the Allan Lamb-esque art of marshalling a mobile phone in the middle whilst batting.

Once Nimesh had retired, the rest of the Baba’s overs ticked over at a steady rate. However, tight bowling from the Pines ensured that they couldn’t cut loose. Excellent line and length on debuts from both Andy Damant (0 for 12) and Mark Edwards (1 for 14) – Mark taking a sharp caught-and-bowled to dismiss the Babas’ skipper.

All in all, it was a solid bowling performance from the Pines showing plenty of promise for the season ahead. Only 6 extras conceded, and the Babas ended up on 105 for 4 from their 18 overs.

As the sun began to set in spectacular fashion over mid-wicket, the Pines padded up and prepared to chase what could be described as a par score in these conditions. Openers Mystic & Oli Jenks were gradually getting to grips with the conditions, including some very lively bowling from Dileep. The pace made that runs came off the bat nicely – but it was when DIleep chose to bowl round the wicket, that the wheels began to wobble on the Pine wagon.

Firstly, skipper Mystic (7) was well and truly bowled (artificial pitch…the stumps actually all fall over!) through the gate by an even quicker ball. Enter Jay Tuffnell . . . Exit Jay Tuffnell, after a carbon copy from Dileep the very next ball.  As Andrew John was dispatched in similar fashion only two balls later, it was almost time to start the car, with Oli Jenks stranded at the non-striker’s end.

Fortunately for the Pines, this was in fact the beginning of the recovery, as Mark Edwards calmly strode to the wicket, kept his stumps intact, and began to build a useful partnership with Jenkins. After a few more runs, Oli also was caught out by some sharp bowling and departed for 17. Gareth Davies was unlucky to play on for 0, and was quickly making his way back to the bags.

If the Pines were to have any chance of clawing back the runs, it would take someone to stick around with Mark and get that scoreboard ticking over. Nick Young did just that and scored a lively 11 before both he and Mark Edwards (18) were outfoxed by some good bowling and fielding respectively.

Despite the ones, twos, and occasional boundaries flowing steadily from the bats of the Pines’ lower order, another few wickets were all that the Babas needed to see off the challenge. Dave Thomson was seeing the ball well before being caught in the deep; Jeff Baldrey and Simon Collick also put up a brave fight before Simon was out LBW (some very friendly umpiring from A. John there!) and Andy Damant copped a nasty one that kept as low as Barry White’s singing voice – and it was all over. The Pines all out, 10 runs short.

All in all, at the end of the day [and all that jazz], it was just nice to get out on a cricket pitch – and it’ll be even nicer next time to get out on a proper cricket pitch! A nice gentle warm-up for the Pines. Many tougher tests to come, not least in our next fixture – a Willow League encounter with perpetual champions South Glam Education in the theatre of dreams that is St. Fagans.

Well done to all the lads – everyone played their part. It’s good to get back in the swing. Come. On. The. Pines!

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Pine of the Match: It’s hats off to the debutant Mark Edwards as he demonstrates all the flair of a man who hasn’t really played cricket for seven years. Inspired fielding, nice tight bowling, and top-scoring with the bat in the middle order to keep the Pines rolling.

Quote of the Match: [Keeper Oli Jenkins to tracky-bottom-clad M. Edwards after a good ball] “Keep this up Mark and we’ll buy you some trousers!”

Champagne Moment: [Mystic to Oli between overs] “It’s like a jungle down here Ol, we’ll have to go aerial” [Next ball was promptly dispatched for 6 in trademark Jenkins fashion].

Get the Heavy Roller Out: Perhaps the strangest pitch ever graced by the talent of the Pines. After this game, Mystic’s tip would have to be: ‘When umpiring, be sure to wait for the ball to pass the batsman before calling a wide. Even if the ball is heading miles out of the reach of the batsman on the off-side, you never know; it might just catch the Astroturf fringe and turn 90 degrees, ending up on middle stump. And then, everyone looks silly.’